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 Comedy Shayiri

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M. Waqas Jan
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PostSubject: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:18 am

Well, lets all share some comedy poetry as well Smile
sanjeeda shairi se kuch dil udaas sa ho raha hai Wink



Chandani vs Mohabbat

Ladki: Chandni chand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi
Mohabaat ek se hoti hai, hazaron se nahi
Ladka: Chandni chand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga
Mohabbat ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hoga

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:19 am

IT Poetry...

Abhi abhi to pyaar ka computer kiya hai chaaloo
Aab main dil ki hard disk pe aur kitni files daaloo

Apne chehare se ruswaai ka error to hatao
Ai zalim apne dil ka password to batao

Woh to hum hain jo aap ki chahat dil main rakhte hain
Warna aap jaise kitney hi softwares aam miltey hain

Roz raat ko aap mere sapne main aate ho
Mere pyar ko mouse bana ke ungaliyon pe nachaate ho

Tere pyar ka email mere dil ko Lubhataa hai
Par beech main qibla walid ka virus satata hai

Kerwaengi kitna aur hum ko intezaar
Hamaare dil ki site pe jaldi se entry maro yaar

Apni insult ka badalaa dekhna main kaise loonga
Jinaab e mun aap ke walid ko Shift Delete kar doonga

Aap jaiso ke liye dil ko cut ker diya karte hai
Warna baaki cases main to copy paste kiya karte hai

Aapka hasnaa aap ka chalnaa aap ki woh style
Aapke adaaon ki hamne save hai kar li file.
Razz

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:20 am

BEFORE MARRIAGE


Takdeer hai magar kismat nahi khulti
Taj mahal banana chahta hoon,
Likin Mumtaz nahi milti....



AFTER MARRIAGE

Takdeer hai magar kismat nahi khulti
Taj mahal banana chahta hoon,
Likin Mumtaz nahi marti.... Laughing

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:20 am

Hasina Ka Baap


Ladka: Kaash in hasinaaon kay baap mar jayen'
Bahana ho afsos ka hum inke ghar to jayen


Ladki: Aisa sochna bhi aye zalim paap hoga
Kabhi tu bhi kisi hasina ka baap hoga

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:21 am

Majanu


loki khende majnu di leela rang di kali eh
loki khende majnu nu leela teri rang di kali eh
majnu bolye ago
bharavo meri ta aje gal bat chaldi eh mai kehra vehalyi eh

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:22 am

Roses are Red

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:22 am

Ye baat samajh main aai nahi, Aur Ammi ney samjhai nahi
Main kaisay meethi baat karoon? Jab meethi cheez khai nahi
Aapi bhi pakaati hain Halwa, Woh aakhir kiyon 'Halwaai' nahi?
Bhayya ki mangni ho gai kal, Kiyoon kal hi 'Dulhan' mangwaai nahi?
Ye baat samajh main aai nahi

Naani ke miyaan jab Nana hain, Dadi ke miyaan jab Dada hain......
Tab Aapi se main ne poocha ..Baaji ke miyaan kiya 'Baaja' hain?
Woh huns huns kar yoo kehnay lagi, A bhai nahi yeh bhai nahi
Ye baat samajh main aaai nahi

Jab naya maheena aata hay, Bijli ka bill aa jaata hay
Halaankey Baadal bechaara ye bijli mufft Lutata hay
Phir hum ne apnay ghar Bijli....Kiyoo Badal se lagwaai nahi?
Ye baat samajh main aai nahi

Gar Billi 'Shair' ki khala hay?...phir hum ne ussay kiyoon pala hay?
Kiya 'Shair' bohat nalaayak hay? Khala ko maar nikala hay?
Ya jungle ke Raja kay yahaan... kiya milti doodh malaai nahi?
Ye baat samajh main aai nahi

Kiyoon Lambay baal hain bhaalu ke ? Kiyoon uss ki tind karai nahi?
Kiya 'woh' bhi Ganda bacha hay?.. ya uss ke Abbu,bhai nahi?
Yeh uss ka 'Hair Style' hay?..... ya Jungle main koi Naai nahi?
Ye baat samajh main aai nahi,

Jo Taaray jagmag kartay hain, Kiya unn ki 'Chachi Taai' nahi?
Ho ga koi rishta sooraj se? ye baat humain batlaai nahi
Per Chanda kaisa mamoo hay? jab ammi ka woh 'bhai' nahi?
Ye baat samajh main aai nahi,

Ye baat samajh main aai nahi, Aur Ammi ne samjhaai nahi
Main kesay meethi baat karoon? jab meethi cheez khai nahi

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:23 am

AASHIQOON KO ISHQ MEIN perfect HONA CHAIYE
ISHQ BHEE EK LAZMEE subject HONA CHAIYE

LARKA JO ISHQ MEIN NAAKAM HO AGAR
USE TU CLASS SE reject HONA CHAIYE

OR JISSE ISHQ KERNA HEE NA AAYE
USE PHIR ISHQ KA TEEKA inject HONA CHAIYE

LARKEON KO HUM PER REHAM KERNA CHAIYE
UNHE BHEE HAMAREE TARAF attract HONA CHAIYE

AASHIQOON KO ISHQ MEIN perfect HONA CHAIYE
AISA ISHQ KERAIN K LARKI PER effect HONA CHAIYE

AASHIQ KE ZINDAGI TO ITNI HAI JANAB
K US KA DIL KISI LERKI K DIL SE connect HONA CHAIYE

AASHIQOON KO ISHQ MEIN PERFCET HONA CHAIYE
ISHQ BHEE IK LAZMEE subject HONA CHAIYE

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:24 am

Ghar ke kaamon Se Ghabra Kar
Apnee Job Se Tang Aa Kar
Chey Hufte Ki Chutti Paa Kar
Kar Ke Ghar Sunsaan Gai Hai
Biwi Pakistan Gai Hai

Soney ke set Banwaayegi
Shan Masaley Laye Gi
Suit Bohat Silwaayegi
Silk Ke Lay Kar Thaan Gayi Hai
Biwi Pakistan Gai Hai

Aesh Karoongi Amma Ke Ghar
Kaam Karengay Noukar Chaakar
Car Main Le kar jayega Cheufar
Lay kay yeh Armaan Gai Hai
Biwi Pakistan Gayi Hai

Panu Aaqil Main ChaCha Hai
Changa Manga Main Taya Hai
Sab Se Milkar hi aana hai
Bana kay Sare Plan Gai hai
Biwi Pakistan Gai Hai

Boli Rahna Acchay Shohar
Daftar Se Aana Seedhay Ghar
Jaaate Jaate Haath Main Day Kar
Tasbeeh Aour Quran Gai Hai
Biwi Pakistan Gai Hai

Tarha Tarha Ke Khaane Paka Kar
Bhar Daala hai Saara Freezer
Ta'kayh Main Nah Khaaoon Baahar
Kar kay Itmenaan gai Hai
Biwi Pakistan Gai Hai

Ek Din Phone Kia Uske Ghar
Bolay Uskay Mama Asghar
Woh To Lay kar Saaray member
Aaj Subah Multan gai Hai
Biwi Pakistan Gai Hai

Dhoop Aur garmi Se Aa Kar Tung
Maila Hua Jab Chehray Ka Rung
Apni Ek Saheli Ke Sung
Wahan Se woh Kaghaan Gai Hai
Biwi Pakistan Gai Hai

Aati Hain E-Mail Baraabar
Ek Hi Rut Hoti hai Aksar
Bhejo Dollar Bhejo Dollar
Phuns Mushkil Main Jaan Gai Hai
Biwi Pakistan Gai Hai

Lugte hain Bankon Ke Pherey
Bhayjoon Dollar Shaam Saweray
Chehra Pur Num Hai Aur Meray
Honton Se Muskaan Gai hai
Biwi PAKISTAN Gai Hai

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:24 am

Luch lafang ELECT hua hai Annay waa
Beeba phir REJECT hua hai Annay waa
Sooyi mein dhaga daalnay wali nokri par
Anna phir SELECT hua hai Annay waa
lol!

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:25 am

"koi umeed bar nahin ati"
woh kabhi time par nahin ati

bohat kaha milna bus stand par mujhay
woh wahan aksar nahin ati

pahlay to milti thi jagha jagha par mujahy
ab laikin kahin par nahin ati

tang aa giya hoon us say is kadar
usay maout kion kar nahin ati

kion usi ki rah taktay hain hum bhi
dafa karo usay agar nahin ati

woh na sahi koi aor sahi...
sharam to Us ko magar nahin ati....
Laughing Wink

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:26 am

Main hoon jis haal main ay mere sanam rehne de
Tegh mat de mere haathon mai qalam rehne de

Main tu shaayar hoon mera dil hai bohat hi nazuk
Main pataakhay se mar jaon ga, bumm rehne de

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:42 am

Mazloom Shohar

Chupke Chupke Raat Din uska Bartan Manjhwana yaad hai
Humko ab tak Kaprey doney ka woh Zamana yaad hai

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~

Doppher ki Dhoop mein Kaprey Sukhaney ke liye
Wo Mera Khothey pe b Nangey Paoon jana yaad hai

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~

Aa gaya jab Sunday ki Shab b kabhi zikr-e-shopping
Wo Mera Meri Biwi se, ATM Card chupana yaad hai

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~

Saas Sasur ki Doston ab kya Sunaoon Dastaan
Susuraal na janey ka mujhey har ik Bahana yaad hai

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~

Daru pee ke jab b Ghar mein aana para Mujhey
Wo Mera Dantoon taley, illaichi chabana yaad hai

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~

Dekh liya jab b kabhi Rastey mein kissi Dusri Larki ko
Biwi ke Gussey ko dekh ker Mera Tharthrana yaad hai

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:44 am

Dil To Jall Gaya Kismat Aazma Raha Hoon
Daikh Bewafa Tery Gham Main Riksha Chala Raha Hoon

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:50 am

Wo Collage Ki Parhai..
Wo Pyar Bhari Baaten..
Wo Syllabus Ki Tension..
Wo Notes Maangna..
Wo Exam Ki Raaten..
Wo Canteen Ki Party..
Wo Frends Ki Laaten..
Wo Roothna Manana..
Wo Bunk Mulaqaaten..
Be-Tuki Baaton Ko Serious Lena..
Wo Matlab Ki Baaten Hansi Me Urana..
Na Wo Din Hain..
Na Wo Raatain..
Na Wo Zamanaa..
Na Ghussa,, Na Baaten..
Agar Kuch Hai To Bus...







"YAADAIN HI YAADAIN"

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:56 am

aisi apni wife ho
5.5 jiski hight ho
jeans jiski tight ho
chehra jiska bright ho
waight main thori light ho
umer main diffrence slight ho
thori se woh quite ho
too mamorable her ek night ho
aisi apni wife ho
sarak per sub kaheen
kia cute hey
bheer main sub kaheen
pakistan ki paidaish ho
beauty multyply by twice ho
favorite color white ho
make up thora light ho
zulfain dynamite hoon
aankheen us ki jaisey sunny twilight ho
hoonton ko dekh ker lagey
jaisey coke diet ho
jub sari pehan ker nikley
to kia sight ho
aisa lagey jaisey swtizerland ki flight ho
aisi apni wife ho
agar aisi apni wife ho
tu kia haseen life ho

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:56 am

Usne kaha kon ho Tum?
Mai ne kaha Hasrat Tumari

Usne kaha Taktey ho kya?
Mai ne kaha Surat Tumhari

Us ne kaha kartey ho kya?
Mai ne kaha Pooja Tumhari

Usne kaha Kaafir ho kya?
Mai ne kaha aisa hi sahi

Usne kaha chatey ho kya?
Mai ne kaha Mohabbat Tumhari

Usne kaha Pachtaoge,
Mai ne kaha KismatHamari

Usne Kaha Married hoon mai.
Mai ne kaha Sorry BAJI
[center]

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:57 am

kichan kaa bailan mara thaa tum nay jab mujh ko
us din ko yaad kartaa hoon to aankhain bheeg jaate hain,

na karo mujh pay itnaa zulm kay aajaiy ambulance
dandaa jab uthaati ho to aankhain bheeg jaate hain,

kuch to khudaa ka khouf karo reham mujh pay tum karo
aaj itnaa bhee peto aankhain bheeg jaate hain,

sirf thappar say hee kar lo guzara aaj tum baigam
kay chappal jab uthati ho to aankhain bheeg jaate hain,

jab bhee daikhta hoon main tumhaaray haath main dandaa
wohee din yaad aata hay to aankhain bheeg jaate hain,

kia tha kia qusoor kion mara mujh ko baigam nay
yeh jab bhee soochta hoon to aankhain bheeg jaate hain,

main is qadar hogaya hoon hassas us din say
kisi ko pittay daikhtaa hon to aankhain bheeg jaate hain

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:59 am

PHOOL KO MAT TORO KANTA LAG JAI GA
LARKI KO MAT CHAIRO CHANTA LAG JAI GA

PANI AANAY KI BAAT KARTE HOO
DIL JALANE KI BAAT KARTE HOO
CHAr DIN SE MOO NAHI DHOIYA
TUM NAHANE KI BAAT KARTE HOO

BAZAHIR WO MERA KHAYAL KARTI HAI
JHOOT BOLTI HAI MAGAR KAMAL KARTI HAI

DIL HAI MERA LOSE ISAY NA KARNA USE
AGHAR HOGAYA FUSE TUMHAI PARANGAY SHOES

APPLE KAT'TA HO KNIFE SE
PANI PITA HO PIPE SE
KIYA ZAMANA AGAYA HAi
JUTAI KHATA HO WIFE SE

HUM CHAHAIN AAP KO
AAP CHAHAIN KISI AUR KO
AAP JISAY CHAHAIN KHUDHA KARAY
WO CHAHAIN KISI AUR KO

TU SAWAL NAHI EK PHALI HAI
MERI MANZIL TU NAHI TARI SAHELI HAI
TU SHAMA HOTI MAIN PARWANA HOTA
NA TU COACHING JATI NA MAIN DIWANA HOTA

PYAR MAIN KISI NE DHOKHA KHAYA
TO KISI NE KASAM KHAI HAI
HUM WO MAJNOO HAI
JIS NE SIRF LAAT KHAI HAI

DUNIYA SE JO DARAY USAY KAHIL KHATE HAI
DUNIYA JIS SE DARAY USAY SHAIR KHATE HAI

SHAIR CHARA SAMAJ KAR HAR GHADHA CHARNE LAGA
URDU ZABAN AATI NAHI SHAIRE KARNE LAGA

SHAMA RO RO KAY PARWANOO SE KHA RAHI HAI
MUJAI RUMAL LA DO MARI NAAK BHA RAHI HAI

HUM DIL KI THABHAI KA SAAMNA NA KARANGAY
BUN JAINGAY DHULAY MAGAR HAAN NA KARANGAY

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:59 am

yaaro ko aazma k dkh liya,
party main bula k dkh liya,

mout bhe hum se door bhagti hai,
car k niche aa k dkh liya,

marta nhe ye jaraseem-e-ishq,
safeguad se naha k dkh liya,

koi sunta nhe faryaad-e-ghareeb,
radio pe gana ga k dkh liya,

hmaray dil ka pta nhe milta,
x-ray bhe kra k dkh liya..... Razz Razz Razz

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PostSubject: Re: Comedy Shayiri   Wed Dec 17, 2008 11:00 am

I dedicate to all our beloved parliment members



Nayee kabina mein apna muqaam paida kar
NRO se naye subh o shaam paida kar

Khuda agar dil e "PERMIT"shanass de tujh ko
ChaRhte Suraj se bus Dua-Slaam paida kar

Watan se dollar o aataa Utha ke note banaa
Rag-e-gharib se maa'ye lalaa faam peada kar

Khudi to khudcush dhamaakey ki belt pehna de
Zameer bech ke aish-o-aaraam peda kar

IMF se kaho "de ja annheyaan sakhiyaan nu"
Najj-kari se meena-o-jaam paida ker

60 faqiron ko khana khilaa kafarah de
Naye wazir naye ohdon ke naam paida ker

Pehley Sutlej, Ravi aor abb Chanab bhi khushk
Wahgha paar tijarat mein naam paida ker

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